The Incredible Crash Dummies
NES Game Reviews #16 – The Incredible Crash Dummies
LJN are notorious for being one of the worst game producers of the NES. Partnered with Acclaim (who hardly have a great track record themselves), LJN littered the library with a host of unplayable trash, clearly spending budgets acquiring licenses for tie-ins rather than actually developing good games. Its a blessing that the UK missed most of the worst offenders, though the odd one slipped through!
Of all the tie-ins from LJN to make it across the pond, I think its strange to see The Incredible Crash Dummies, a game based on a cartoon that was never released here, which in turn is based on a public service announcement for wearing a seatbelt, also never shown over here! Yes that’s right, this game has its roots in road safety! While we had Darth Vader as the Green Cross Man, America had the incredible crash dummies, telling folks not to be a Dummy and wear a seatbelt.
Coming very late in the NES lifespan, this one was mostly overlooked. Is that a bad thing? I’m gonna say yes.
While not terrible it would be a push to call it a good game. There’s plenty that’s annoying, most notably all the levels you play as the unicycle dummy! There’s two characters to choose from. One walks around and acts as you’d expect from a platformer, you know jump, attack. His stages are by far the more enjoyable. A neat mechanic is that if he takes damage to the head, it gets blown off! (He is a crash dummy remember), when headless the controls are reversed which makes from some confusing gameplay at times. Mercifully there are plenty of spare heads kicking about.
The other Dummy has no legs instead a unicycle wheel. His control is floaty and often needs momentum to make jumps. Occasionally he gets flung back into a wall and smashed into a million pieces! Most annoying is the way he bounces when he lands, this throws off forward momentum causing you to miss the next jump. Annoyances aside however, the game is playable with either character. Just be prepared for some cursing when, mainly wheely, goes flying off into a hole or bounces off peacefully into the sea!
If you can stomach the excruciating humour in the cut scenes, you have a semi rewarding experience.
I’m attempting to complete every UK NES game for charity using original hardware and games only. No cheats, no game genie, no walkthroughs (where possible). If you would like to sponsor me to support Mental Health UK, please follow the me on Instagram @CabiNES_fever or visit my Just Giving page. www.justgiving.com/fundraising/cabines
